


Who knew photographs could be so dangerous?

by dumby



Category: Love Victor (TV 2020)
Genre: Bisexual/Pansexual Felix, Coming Out, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Pining, figuring it out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:42:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26851633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumby/pseuds/dumby
Summary: *REUPLOAD*Yeah so Benji and Victor just str8 up aren't a thing - maybe Victor likes him, maybe they hooked up, who knows? Not Felix. It's a reupload because I uploaded it a few days ago and realized it was in the WRONG ORDERI dunno if I made it clear that Felix likes Victor but I'm gonna call it reading between the lines. Until of course the plot happens. ;D
Relationships: Victor Salazar/Felix Weston
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	1. Lake Lanier

“Praktica?” I asked. “Oh my god.” I answered myself.

“What?” Mia gave me a disgruntled look.

“The German camera brand!” I grabbed the old film camera from her hands, carefully lifting the delicate machine away from her. I stared at it in awe, watching the metal bands and glass lenses glint in the sunlight. I pointed at some small lettering along the lens. _Made in G.D.R._

“It’s _East_ German!” I looked up at Mia, still staring at me. _And ancient._ It looked like something out of the 60s, which it probably was.

“So?” She could barely hide her disdain for me. Made sense, she only tolerated me because I was Victor’s friend - wonder what she thinks of Victor, then, given we live in the same apartment block. 

“You could get so much for it. Probably.” I fumbled the camera back into her hands. 

“Well it cost me like $60 at the thrift store so I’m not gonna sell it.” 

I bit back a ‘$60?’, and mumbled ‘okay’. I didn’t know Mia was an art girl. She seemed too caught up in school and her parents and _Victor._ Speaking of the devil, he arrived, a cooler box in hand. 

“Are we seriously having a picnic right now?” Lake rolled her eyes. I smiled at her as Victor quipped back “You want a table?”. 

He placed the box down, and the girls took a seat. He unrolled a picnic blanket, the velcro making a pained zipping noise. 

“A blanky?” I teased Victor, my smirk turning to mirth. He tossed the blanket over my head. “Ah! Shit!” I tore it off, stumbling into an awkward fall, landing on my ass. Victor laughed. I liked his laugh, he should show it more. Maybe I should be funnier, then. 

Lake and Mia laughed, the former offering me a hand. I took it, and wriggled onto the plaid patterned mat. It crinkled underneath me, barely audible over the crashing of waves a few feet away from us. A sailboat drifted past, the wind too weak to propel it at any decent pace. The crew took little notice of us, and I took little notice of them, my attention turning to Victor and Lake. Not lake Lanier, but Lake, Mia’s blonde friend with a Gucci obsession, and my, my _what?_ My ex? Not like we were ever a thing. At least she still liked me.

Mia leaned into Victor, who hesitantly wrapped his arm around her. She didn’t make him happy - she’s just some rich teenage girl, how _could_ she make Victor happy? He needed support, not the trappings of a heterosexual relationship. I forced myself to look away, feeling sick. My eyes met Lake’s for a second. She’d seen me staring. I darted my eyes away, and grabbed a bag of chips. With a struggle, I tore it open, and took a chip from inside. I offered it to Lake, who graciously accepted with a small smile. God, why did she have to settle for _me?_ She was incredible. 

Victor scarfed down a packet of chips, and challenged me to a game of chicken in the lake’s pitiful surf. We tossed our shoes off and rolled up our pants as high as we could, and ran towards the retreating waves, tossing our phones into the gravel beach behind us, carefully, of course. Victor turned and crouched like an Olympic runner, ready to bolt. A wave appeared out of nowhere, building upwards briefly. Victor shot off like a rocket, shouting. I waited for a second, then ran up the beach. 

“Chicken!” I pointed at him, laughing.

“No! You got wet! That means I won!” He frowned, a playful smirk growing across his face. 

“Look at me. Almost perfectly dry. God, have you ever seen the beach before?” I punched him in the arm, just to rub it in.

“Shut up.” He shook his head at me.

“You haven’t?” I gasped. He looked at me, annoyed. “Okay, okay,” I raised my hands in surrender “I’ll give you that as a practice round.” 

“Round?” He rolled his eyes. 

“Shut up.” I mirrored his words. 

After a while, the score was three-one to me, not that the score mattered when we were having fun. I turned to look up the beach and watched Mia approach. For a second I thought she was joining us, but she whispered something in Victor’s ear. He dropped his jaw in disbelief, then grinned devilishly. I gulped.

“Ready?” I asked, turning back to the lake.

“Yeah.” He answered. “Now.” I ran into the receding water, and turned to run away. Victor hadn’t moved. I stared at him confused. He ran towards me, directly towards me, and-

“Victor!” I shouted before he tackled me, crashing both of us into the water. Cold. “Fuck!” I gasped, pushing my head above water. I could distantly hear Lake laughing, and then Victor emerged, looking as shocked as I felt. I trudged out of the water, scrambling for dry land. I collapsed in front of the girls, Victor quickly joining me. The girls giggled, and once we had enough breath, we joined them, chuckling at our, _Victor’s,_ stupidity. 

I wriggled out of my shirt, much to Mia’s audible disgust. “As if you’ve never seen a guy shirtless.” I looked at Lake while I said it. She could understand friendly banter, unlike Mia.

Victor lifted his shirt over his head, in _that_ _weird_ way. It felt a little unusual, but I didn’t dwell on it. We walked the short distance to the car, and spread them over the warming bonnet. I glanced at Mia, who held the old camera up to her eye, and flipped her off, pressing a smile across my face. Victor opened the boot, and pulled out a jersey, slipping it on with a small grunt.

“Oh, do you not have one?” Victor asked.

“Yeah…” I chuckled awkwardly. He pulled a black and green sweater out of the car, and handed it to me. 

“Thanks.” I said, slipping it on over my head. The wool was soft, and it didn’t scratch at all. “Oh,” I mumbled, “is this shit real wool?” I pulled it down, fiddling with the sleeves. Victor was still looking at me, a confused look on his face.

“I- I think so?” He answered. 

I shrugged. “Alright.” We walked back to the picnic mat. Victor convinced Mia to give him the camera, somehow. Lake had the brilliant idea of taking some ‘girl time’ in the nearby grove of trees. I gulped. It was a stupid fear - Lake wasn’t going to tell _anyone_ about our brief affair, but I couldn’t help it. I stared at Victor, who equaled my concerned look. 

He waited until they were out of earshot. “Does Lake know?”

“How would she?” I assured him. Victor rummaged through his schoolbag, and pulled out a piece of paper. Nervously, he scoured the grove around us for any sign of the girls. 

“Can you, can you keep a look out?” He asked.

“Sure, what is it?” I asked, craning to keep guard. Victor said nothing. I glanced towards him, and saw the note. “What’s on it?” 

“An apology.” What? 

“Did you come out? Did I just-” I stammered out. Did I miss it? I did that a lot. Victor interrupted me.

“No. It’s just in case-” He pulled the camera up to his eye. Woah, bad idea.

“Maybe that isn’t a good idea to come out via photograph?” I rushed to finish before he took the photo.

“I’m not. It’s if it goes badly. I don’t wanna lose Mia.” Victor said, dropping the camera slightly. “And it gives me until she gets the photos developed to come out or else it’s gonna be very confusing. He managed a pained smile. He took the photo, and I snatched the note from his lap. 

_Mia, if it went badly, I’m sorry. Please, whatever it is, talk to me. I don’t wanna lose you because of this. -V_

I scrunched it up, and tossed it into Lake Lanier, watching it arc into the water silently. I turned to Victor- some peace had returned to his face. I sat down again, my shoes knocking against his. There was a comfortable silence for a while. I looked towards the grove, peering between the trees for a hint of the girls. They’d disappeared. The lake was relatively calm, a light breeze washing off the water. But it was early autumn, so with Victor’s sweater and the clear midday sky I could brush it off. I toyed with the sleeves.

“You can keep it if you want.” Victor said. I frowned, then realized he was talking about the sweater. Dumbass.

“Forreal?” I asked, astonished. 

“Sure. Looks better on you. I’m sure Lake would love it.” Victor grinned.

“Huh?” I stammered.

“I saw you two making out on Mia’s couch.” He grinned. Asshat.

“Oh. I- uhm. W-we aren’t a thing anymore.” I blushed.

Victor grimaced. “Oh, sorry.”

“No problem.” I said, somewhat bitterly. 

I watched the gears in Victor’s head turn as he prepared himself for a gamble. _Uh oh._ “Well, maybe it’ll get you a girl, ay?” That wasn’t so bad. I was over it, anyway.

“Maybe-” I paused. Now was my opportunity. Victor had come out to me literally days ago, so how hard could this be? All I had to do was- “Maybe it’ll get me someone.” I eyed Victor nervously to gauge his reaction. There was a second where he skipped over it, but any hopes of it slipping by unnoticed flew out the window when his eyes returned to mine and he saw my expression. There were those cogs again. Oh jesus. 

“Someone?” He asked, inquisitively. I nodded in response. His face changed minutely, some indecipherable emotion crossing his face. He understood. I stared into his eyes. It was a little weird, but I’d just come out to VICTOR and god I felt like crying but if I just kept looking at him it’d be fine. He held an arm out, making some attempt to console me. I waved him away, rubbing my eyes dry. God, that was embarrassing. Victor picked up the camera. He pointed it at me, so I rushed to find some sort of pose. I held up a peace sign. 

“God, it’s true.” He snickered. The camera clicked, and I saw the smile on his face as he let it hang around his neck. 

“Huh?” I said, stumped. He laughed harder. 

“Bisexuals always do peace signs any time you point a camera at them.” He explained.

“Oh.” I smiled. It wasn’t that funny, now he’d explained it. 

I heard the voices of Mia and Lake approaching. I held my arms out, and he took the camera off his neck, and handed it to me. I shuffled backwards, and pulled it up to my eye. Victor smiled for the camera.

“Smile.” I said.

“I am!” Victor’s grin widened.

“Smile better, dickhead.” 

Victor laughed. _Click._ “Got it.” I set the camera down. Mia walked up to me, and I picked it back up and gave it to her silently. I glanced at Victor, whose face soured. This was gonna be a rough week. 


	2. Apartment 301

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor told Mia. Lake got the photos developed - and it didn't go well.

The coming out didn’t go well. Mia was understandably pissed off, she hadn’t talked to either of us since, despite the 13 text messages, 2 instagram DMs, and 3 phone calls we’d sent. Victor cried his eyes out - his parents were separating, and literally only I would talk to him. He begged me not to leave him like everyone else was - I told him I wouldn’t, ever. Of course I wouldn’t - I had even fewer friends than he did, and Victor was the most important person in my life,  _ except for my mum _ . The sweater he’d given me was soaked with his tears. I’d cried, even. Here we were, lying on my bed, my mum’s ‘collection’ a few feet away on the other side of the door that didn’t open properly. We’d been here god knows how long, and Victor had fallen asleep on top of me. I could feel my leg itching to move, but I wouldn’t disturb Victor, so I sucked it up.

My thoughts wandered, across every memory of Victor I had - made sense, I could smell his shampoo with every breath I took. When I embarrassed myself in front of his whole family, desperate for new friends. The first time I saw the chair left out for me at the Salazar’s dining table, and  _ oh god,  _ I nearly cried right there in front of his parents. How I felt Victor shift behind me when he came out - how my heart raced. My phone buzzed, and the mental cage I’d built to stop myself from moving shattered instantly. I tipped Victor onto my bed - I chuckled- he slept so heavily that he didn’t even change anything. His arms held the shape they had around my back, so I placed a pillow between them in my stead. I opened the phone.

‘Im waiting outside’ -Lake  _ 2 min _

I considered leaving a note for Victor, but Lake was notoriously impatient, so I left the room as quickly as I could, only stopping to ruffle his hair.  _ That was a little weird.  _ Whatever. Shut up. I hesitated at the front door - what the hell could she want? I didn’t have time to waste, so I pushed open the door, and approached her.

“We got the photos developed.” She smiled, cruelly. There was a sharp tone in her voice - pain, anger, a healthy dose of sarcasm. “Did you even like me? Or are you just like Victor?” She asked. 

“Wha- Of course I did, Lake.” I deadpanned. “What’s this about?” 

“Just take a look at the photos.” She handed an envelope to me. “I don’t think either of us want to talk to either of you anymore.” She walked away, then turned to finish her sentence. “You can have the fucking camera, too. If you want.” 

My shock cleared. “Lake!” She didn’t stop. “Why me, Lake?” Nothing. “I get Mia and Victor, but why should that get in between us?” 

She turned around, her eyes teary and - angry. She spat out vitriol when she yelled. “I hope you and Victor are happy.” Then she left, ignoring all my pleas to stop. I stood in the street, watching Lake disappear in an Uber. I stayed there for minutes, dazed, confused. The envelope crumpled and folded in the wind. I didn’t know what to do.  _ Victor! _ I bolted inside, and ran to my apartment, carefully tip-toeing down the hall to my room. I opened the door to Victor sitting on the edge of my bed, facing the door - briefly, at least.

“What’s up?” He asked, groggy. 

I sighed. Might as well. “Lake showed up with the film.” I waved the envelope.

“Oh.” His face turned glum. I tore open the envelope, and pulled out a collection of developed pictures, not the full roll - just from a glance I could see there were no photos of just Lake & Mia, photos which they definitely took. It was the photos they didn't want to have - and they were cards roughly the size of small phone screens - Mia hadn’t spent much money on this. Of course she wouldn’t, she didn’t want to remember Saturday. Or developing film was REALLY expensive - could be either. I sat in the centre of the bed, and tipped the photos between us onto the duvet. He picked one up. 

“God damn that’s a shit photo of a bird.” He smirked, and flipped it around to show me. He’d tried to take a photo of a blackbird outside a gas station we stopped at on the trip back, and it’d flown off just as the shutter opened- leaving a black and orange blur on the film. I chuckled, my mood returning to normal near-instantly, and picked up another photo. It was a photo of Victor and Mia together on that beach - they looked happy, in love, even. I got why Mia didn’t want it. I quietly placed it on the mattress.

“Look at this.” It was the photo of Victor and I in front of the car, shirtless and soaking wet.  _ Not in a hot way.  _ She  _ had  _ caught me flipping her off. I showed it to him. He smiled, and took it out of my hands. 

“Dibs.” He said, placing it beside him. 

“Fuck.” I said. We giggled.

Then there was a photo Lake took. I could recognise it because her hand was in the frame, forming an ‘L’. It was a photo of us lying on the picnic mat, my arm reaching over Victor’s chest to grab at some chips, awkwardly clambering over his body. Clearly, she’d taken it comedically, to tease us at Victor and Mia’s anniversary or whatever. It wasn’t quite as funny anymore. I showed it to Victor, a half-amused smile plastered over my face. He didn’t smile - his face sunk in anguish, like suddenly he felt sick. 

“Victor.” I said, hurriedly. Uh oh. 

“Please, Felix.” His voice was laden with angst. 

I rushed to apologize. I’d fucked up, obviously. Of course showing him this was still sore - even if he didn’t  _ love  _ Mia, their falling out still hurt. “Sorry! I just thought it was funny and I’m sorry for bringing it up-”

“Felix.” He said.

“-I…” 

“It’s not Mia, or whatever the hell you’re on about. It’s…” He trailed off.

I let the silence rest, giving Victor a chance to think. “It’s what?” I asked, tentatively. 

“It’s alright, Felix. Forget about it.” He turned back to the pile of photos. 

I picked more out. An awkward selfie we took, a photo of Victor sitting in a tree. A photo of me standing at the edge of a small cliff - more of a sandbank, really. It resembled something you might consider art - it was amateur, obviously, the lighting was garbage, it wasn’t a silhouette, and the shadows were awkward, but it was good, for a bunch of teenagers. 

“Who took this one?” I passed it to Victor. 

“Oh.” He fiddled his hands for a second. “Me.” 

“Oh. Cool.” I said. That made it cooler - that Victor took it. It was like a representation of his relationship with me, or something. It could make me half-believe that I was as important to him as he was to me. I knew I was his closest friend, that was obvious even before seeing the photo, but this was like something. Something boy- people in hollywood movies did for each other. Of course, this wasn’t like that. Victor almost definitely had a crush on that guy from the cafe. Actually, I hadn’t heard about him since that trip Victor didn’t want to talk about. 

Holy shit. Were they a thing? That would explain so much! Victor and Benji were definitely dating - how Derek fit into this, I had no fucking idea, but the evidence was too compelling, and it also meant I had no chance with Victor, so the part of my brain dedicated to absolutely not risking embarrassing myself clung onto it like precious gemstones. 

“I-” He paused to think of some weird cover for something that wasn’t embarrassing. It was really obvious - like even I could pick up on it sort of obvious. “I thought you knew?” 

“Dude that was like two seconds before I jumped down.” I said, giving him a vague look of confusion. 

“And?” He paused. “That was fucking legendary, by the way.” I laughed. He leaned over the photos, moving closer to me. He looked like a schoolgirl doing her homework on her bed. Of course, it was my bed, for once. 

“I don’t even know what I was thinking.” I said.

“It’s good to live like that, sometimes.” He said. I frowned at him, now clearly confused. “Spontaneously.” 

“Yeah. I spose.” I nodded along. Victor shifted rapidly as I picked up another photo. I ignored it - it was a weird twitch. Shit, was he lying on the itchy blanket? No.  _ Forget it, dipshit. _ There was a creak from the other side of the door as my Mum walked past. Good to see she was y’know,  _ doing things.  _

The photo was the one I took, the photo of Victor laughing. It was such a good one. I handed it to him. “Dibs.” I smirked. He studied the photo, then glanced at me. His hand wrapped around my neck and tugged me closer to him, and then he was kissing me. What? He pulled away for a second and I felt my gut sink. His lips pressed against mine and  _ Jesus _ this was happening. I froze, my head moving only when Victor pressed against me. He pulled away, eyes wide as mine. We stared at each other, two deer stuck in each other’s headlights, his breath heaving, and mine dead still. 

He sprung away from me. “Oh my god I’m so sorry Felix I-” He looked back at me. “I should head home.” And like that he was gone, the door left open behind him. 

“Victor?” I called out, meekly. The front door closed. Fuck! What the fuck! Why didn’t I do anything?! What the fuck was wrong with me? My breathing returned to normal. I raised a hand to my lips, tracing over where Victor’s had just been. My god. 

I piled all the photos into a clear section of my desk, and picked up the walkie-talkie, my thumb hovering over the button. I bit the bullet.

“Victor?” Here it came. 

“Victor?”

“Hello?”

“Victor?”   
  


“Pick up for fuck’s sake.”

  
  
  


I tossed the radio onto my bed, and pulled out my phone. Who could I talk to? Nobody. I could talk to nobody. Not Lake, not Mia, not Victor. Goddamn it! My eyes teared up. I took a breath in, and noticed my breathing was hoarse. Oh god, I was sobbing. I could taste my tears as I walked over to the light switch and flicked it off. I could feel my chest racking as I pulled the sheets over my head, and I could smell Victor as I cried myself to sleep. I sounded like a fucking idiot. 

I needed new friends. A new start. Fuck these motherfuckers and their stupid drama and Victor’s stupid fucking face and his recklessness and his ability to play with my feelings. I hoped Victor broke up with Benji over this. God knew he deserved it. 


	3. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I forgot I had an ao3 account for like two months sorry. Also I wrote this chapter on a phone at 3AM so :/  
> Gays stay winning
> 
> Monday comes, and Felix has to deal with reality that he’s back at square one, with no friends, again. He’s done it before. Shouldn’t be too hard.

Victor didn’t deserve for his boyfriend to break up with him. That was my first thought of the day. I was a shit person for wishing that on him. Victor deserved the world, even if he’d broken my heart. God knew he’d been through enough shit, even if half of it  _ was  _ his fault. 

_ Shut the hell up _ . That was my second thought of the day. Victor hurt me and I was allowed to be upset. That’s what mum’s therapy notes had said, at least. I readied myself to leave, brushing my teeth and applying deodorant, even though I wouldn’t really need it. I picked up the bag I packed last night, and left my room precisely on time. I approached the door, and placed my hand on the handle before I realised. I’d have to talk to Victor.  _ Shit.  _ I paced back and forth along the narrow corridor in between mum’s collection, which reached halfway up the wall. I checked my phone. I was running five minutes late - Victor had probably left, thank god - I couldn’t bear talking to him today. I opened the door to an empty hallway. 

The walk to school stretched on for ages without Victor, but I’d get used to it soon enough. This wasn’t so hard. Soon enough, I was outside the aging school building. Sure, people noticed I wasn’t with Victor, but the general apathy of students concerning each other was both a blessing and a curse - yes, I’d been the school joke for maybe a few too many years and nobody had thought that it was wrong, but the same people who laughed at them were generally disinterested in me when I was around. Most people’s main motivator is just to avoid conflict. Knowing that had helped a lot. 

There were some people who, unfortunately, did seem to care that I wasn’t walking with Victor. Namely, Andrew. I barely caught him in the corner of my eye before he was half-yelling at me. 

“Where’s Victor?” He asked me. _Fuck._ _How do I keep Andrew from realising I’m not friends with Victor anymore?_ Andrew was one of those weird fucks who either loiters outside of school early or comes in an hour late. Today he’d chosen the former, which meant there were two possibilities: 

  1. _Victor had come to school mad and Andrew was trying to confirm that it was my fault* (*note, Victor’s fault)_
  2. _Victor was being a dramatic baby and staying home and Andrew was unusually interested in his existence today._



I struggled to think of an answer that wouldn’t reveal anything. “I dunno, I think he left before me.”  _ Genius.  _

“Oh. Alright. He seems upset. You know anything about it?” He asked. For the first time in my life, I suspected Andrew was being genuine. I didn’t like it. 

“Not much.” I said. He looked at me like he expected me to finish my sentence. “Not my place to say.” As quickly as he approached, he left. 

Second period was usually one of my best periods on a Monday.  _ US History. _ Yes, it was generally really fucking boring, and none of my classmates even came close to realising half of it was whitewashed bullshit, but all the same it wasn’t actively awful, unlike first. Victor sat in the row over, and spent the entirety of the class trying to get my attention. The fact I stared at him every time he faced the front of the classroom to pretend he was working didn’t help, either. 

I was standing outside third period when I saw him. I knew what he was doing- if I wouldn’t talk to him, he’d make me. The line around me started jostling through the door, our teacher finally showing up to unlock the door. I walked against them, into the empty hallway leading to the stairwell. Sure enough, Victor appeared around the corner. He opened his mouth.

“Shut it.” I raised a hand. The door of my classroom closed. I was gonna get in trouble for this, but it was better than getting into a shouting match in the middle of the hallway. The hallway eventually fell almost silent. “Alright.” I let him speak.

“Felix, I’m sorry.” He started, badly. I opened my mouth to tell him to fuck off, but he kept talking. “I need your help. Nobody’s talking to me anymore, and I’m not going to my family. You’re my only friend left.” 

“That’s not my fault.” I said, already walking away. “At least you told your boyfriend. That makes you a little less unbearable.” He looked like he’d been punched in the stomach. 

“What? I don’t- Felix!” He hushed himself, checking up and down the corridor to see if anyone heard him. It didn’t matter. I was at the doorway. The classroom door creaked open, and I prayed Victor had the sense not to follow me inside the classroom. I got a dirty look from the teacher. 

“Felix Weston?” He turned to his laptop, presumably marking me late on the outdated attendance program the school used. I found my seat, and sat down. The door didn’t open, and Victor didn’t come bursting in,  _ thank god.  _ The class was boring, not like I knew for sure - I spent the whole lesson thinking about what Victor had said. It hit me so hard I could’ve sworn I’d cracked a tooth.  _ Victor wasn’t dating Benji. _ That still didn’t explain why he ran off, or why he didn’t respond. The conclusion arrived to me with little fanfare. Victor had kissed me because he’d found someone else like him, run off because he was embarrassed, and come to apologize because he’d got over it. I hadn’t -  _ fuck, _ even thinking about it made me nauseous all night. It was decided, then. I’d have to make it up to Victor. Stay firmly in the friendzone- for both our sakes.

Painfully, lunch arrived. I caught Victor’s eye, briefly. With all of Victor’s bridges burned, and mine practically non-existent, neither of us had a place to sit. Another thing we shared- A dysfunctional family, an apartment complex, _ that kiss. _ I entertained the idea of returning the camera to Mia - it rested heavily in my bag.  _ Too much effort. _ I left the cafeteria - part of me was avoiding the embarrassment of being kicked out of a friend group publicly, the other part was avoiding Victor. I told myself it was because the place was too loud, and that I didn’t have an appetite, anyway. Benji stared at me on the way out- Lake sat next to him. 

The school had a weird ‘courtyard’ within its grounds. It was a reminder of just how wealthy the people around me were. It was also a reminder of when Victor and Andrew got into a fight - I had mixed feelings about it. Anger was notable. Some sort of fondness had come of it, the mutual feeling of being at the bottom of the food chain. Being lower class. I was considering ditching school when I saw Victor approach. My lizard brain, in its infinite wisdom, told me to gap it home and lock the door behind me. I reminded myself of the conclusion I’d come to. Victor sat down beside me. 

“Are you gonna walk away on me again?” He said. Great start. 

“Depends what you say next.” I answered.

“Well, alright, then. First of all,” he paused to check our surroundings, returning to look me dead in the eye, “I’m sorry for kissing you, and running away, and not responding on the walky talky, and everything else. I think it’s probably not that surprising that I like you, a lot.” 

I flushed. My brain roared into action.  _ Does this mean he likes me? Like -  _

“And,” he paused slightly. His eyes skirted away from mine. “I’ll take the camera back to Mia, if you’d like.”

“Oh! Well, lucky me, then.” I smiled. For the first time since that disaster of a kiss, I felt the ‘smiley’ part of me come back. I pulled my bag off my shoulders, and unzipped it, digging past my books to uncover Mia’s camera. “Here.” 

Victor smiled, his awkward mannerisms and excited twitches returning.  _ God I’d missed that smile.  _ “And I’ll never try to kiss you again, if you’d like.”

_ If I’d like? _ But I would like it if Victor kissed me. The more I thought about that kiss, the more I realised I would like it. This time, there wasn’t any uncertainty in it. Victor didn’t have a boyfriend, he wasn’t just kissing me because I was another guy who liked guys. What was there to lose?

“Fuck it.” I said. Victor frowned, that look that he’d been punched in the stomach returning. My gut twisted at it. 

“What?” He whispered, turning bright red. He was ready to stand up and walk away. 

“Fuck it,” I said, clearly, “I would.” 

“You wouldn’t like to kiss me?” He said, his frown turning into confusion. 

“No. I would like you to kiss me.” I said.

“Oh,” he looked shocked for a second, until the smile returned, “you sure?” There was a hand on my thigh. 

“How many times-“ 

He was kissing me. I was kissing him. His other hand reached around my waist, and my hand wrapped around his neck. He was pushing into me, oblivious to anything around us. My heart pounded and the arm pushing me back into him fell weak, and we collapsed into the bushes behind the seat. I gasped for air. 

He giggled. “That was so much better than the last time.”

“Falling out my bedroom window was better than the last time.” I smirked, staring at the grey sky above. 

“Hey! That’s harsh.” He giggled again. It was fucking brilliant hearing him laugh. “I’d say falling out of my window is a bit fairer.” 

“Alright, sure.” I turned to him, my chest shifting under his arm, which still wrapped around me. “Speaking of, how about we ditch these losers and head home before we get caught making out in the fucking bushes.” 

He smiled deeper. “I wouldn’t call that making out, but if that’s what you’re thinking…” He teased. 

“Fuck off.” I laughed. “Yes, it is. But that can wait.” 

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it, leave kudos please it boosts my ego  
> If you didn't, feel free to leave a comment telling me to hang myself or whatever


End file.
